I came to faith in Christ as a young boy. I was 6 years old when I came to understand that I needed forgiveness and after talking with my parents and the pastor at my church, I decided to give my heart to Jesus and ask Him to be my Leader and Forgiver. I’m grateful for being raised in a Christian, church going home. My years growing up ‘in church’ were priceless. My love for God and the Scriptures grew, however, over time my belief system began to shift. It started to be about doing all the right things, and not doing all the wrong things, rather than everything being based on the Lord’s grace drawing me closer to Him. I never just turned away and rejected God, but my heart eventually grew cold as I tried to earn my way to his blessings and favor. This led to a life of secret keeping and hidden sin, while continuing to try hard to be the ‘good person’ everyone thought I was. I was truly living a double life. I was trying to serve God and worship him, but all the while struggling mightily with dishonesty, unforgiveness, lust and an addiction to pornography. I
was trapped in a lot of destructive cycles, and didn’t know how to get out!
I was in my 40’s, in 2009, when it all came crashing down. My secrets came to light and in a very short period of time, I lost everything that mattered to me. But, it was in that horrible time of finally facing the consequences of all my decisions and actions, that the Heavenly Father revealed Himself to me in a way I’d been too blind and broken to see before. At the bottom of the ‘pit’ I had fallen into, the Lord met me and began to do some pretty serious healing in my banged-up heart. I began a recovery journey that not only has loosened the grip of addiction in my life, but also – and most importantly – provided a grace-awakening that has changed everything for me. I’m now learning that the Grace of God that saves me and forgives me of my sin, is the same Grace that trains me how to live a righteous life and how to say ‘no’ to sin (Titus 2:11-12).
I gotta tell you – it’s a huge relief to know I don’t have to figure everything out and try hard to get everything right on my own. But its God and His grace that is working in my life, giving me the desire to follow Him and giving me His strength that will make it happen. Now I have the privilege of sharing my grace-story with people any chance I get, and I know that the Lord is showing Himself to those I get to talk to and walk the journey with. The Lord is Good!